There is a quote attributed to Bob Proctor that says:
“When you react, you are giving away your power. When you respond, you are staying in control of yourself”.
We have all done it, haven’t we! Something or someone provokes you and before you know it, you have instinctively said or done something that in hindsight or with a bit of thought, you might have approached it differently. You might have kept your control.
I’m not going to leap to neuroscience and talk about amygdala hijack; instead, simply share a couple of insights from conversations I had with a couple of my coachees recently:
- Self- awareness is key; having an understanding of your triggers as well as the ability to pick up on them in the moment (easier said than done for some but promise it does get better with practice).
- Mindset helps – a negative approach can encourage impulsiveness, whereas a positive outlook can help you to pause for a moment and consider what might be going on for the other individual and for yourself, before then choosing how to respond.
With that in mind, take time to think:
- When was the last time you reacted rather than responded? Why? What triggered you?
- How did your reaction show up? Did you get all hot and bothered? Did you tense up? Did your stomach go into a knot?
- If you know your triggers, how can you reframe your mindset to enable you to respond in the moment when it happens and keep hold of your control?
As leaders, we can show our people that we are role modelling the changes that all of us want to see. Let’s be better and be the change – contact [email protected] if you would like help to do so.
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