There is a question mark over whether it was Albert Einstein who said, “the first sign of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”, well whoever said it, they were right.
As senior leaders we are wired to solve problems. We are rewarded for removing obstacles, creating clarity, and shaping outcomes. This makes it even more frustrating when we hit that moment when the situation won’t bend, at least not fast enough, nor far enough.
All too often this is when you meet that stakeholder, the one who digs in and won’t see the situation the way you do. It’s frustrating, especially when the stakes are high and the path forward seems obvious.
So, what should you do?
The answer is deceptively simple: you stop pushing and change the mindset you bring to the interaction. It is that shift which often determines whether the relationship stays stuck or starts to move.
A rigid stakeholder is rarely just being difficult, they are usually protecting something, worried about risk, responding to different incentives, or under pressure that you can’t see. If you change your mindset from “they are getting in the way” to “they are signalling something important” this opens space for curiosity and influence instead of frustration.
Telling you something that you know, if your stakeholder won’t move, repeating your argument won’t help. How can you pose questions to demonstrate you are seeking to align rather than win? That this is about sharing the risk and understanding their perspective on constraints. This mindset reframe increases your ability to influence and to establish conditions where agreement becomes possible.
I know a dug‑in stakeholder can trigger impatience or defensiveness; been there, done that! You control your mindset, that is what keeps you steady, curious, and strategic. That steadiness often becomes the very thing that unlocks progress later.
With that in mind, take time to think:
- What mindset do you currently bring to a challenging stakeholder, and is it helping or hardening the situation?
- What might their rigidity be protecting, signalling, or compensating for?
- If you assume their position won’t change for now, what can you change: expectations, approach, pacing, narrative?
- What mindset shift would help you influence the relationship rather than push against it?
As leaders, we can show our people that we are role modelling the changes that all of us want to see. Let’s be better and be the change.
If you would like to read more articles encouraging you to think and be the change then visit https://jhcoaching.co.uk or email [email protected] if you would like to discuss.